Nemo is love
by Ciissi
Summary: -AlbelFayt- Do you know why Albel Nox never told Fayt Leingod that he loved him? The answer is very simple. He never did love Fayt...


**Author:** Ciissi  
**Fandom:** Star Ocean 3: Till the End of Time  
**Pairing:** Albel Nox x Fayt Leingod  
**Rating:** R; darkish themes (ok very dark), character death (see? I told you…)  
**Disclaimer:** SO3: TtEoT is owned by SquareEnix. 'Dark Wings' is song sung by Within Temptation and 'Illusion & Dream' is made by Poets of the Fall.  
**Notes:** Post-game. Possibly little AUish and OOC but it is not intended. My first time trying something like this. I am only posting this here because I am satisfied with this story...

**Nemo is love**  
_Don't you die on me  
You haven't made your peace  
Live life, breathe, breathe  
Don't you die on me  
You haven't made your peace  
Live life, breathe, breathe_  
Within Temptation: Dark Wings

Desire.

A funny word itself if you ask me. A useless word. A word that is not needed in my vocabulary because I do not like the emotion it represents.

The Blond One told me that he desired me and my feelings for him… but in the end he broke down right before my eyes. And then like weakling he begged something I would not ever give him. Because I do not like broken toys so I cast him aside. Even now I do not hate the Blond One. After all… He was just a meaningless worm, not worthy of my time and acknowledgment.

Love.

What is that? This 'love' that everybody fusses over so much everywhere. An emotion that is nowhere being reliable. I have been told that love can conquer everything. It can grow stronger than any other bond between two persons. So why it is so easily tramped down?

The Red-haired One told me that despite the fact that we are born to be enemies she loves me. What's that? That woman really thought that I would even look at her! Hideous creature. She was ridiculously easy to break. All it took was one word and one gesture.

There were also others than just those two in our little party. Some of them were easy to break while others were harder ones. But in the end they all broke down and I threw them away. All those people – no matter where they were from – whom broke down and thus proved their words empty, were useless pieces of shit. Useless and ugly. All of them… expect the one with blue-hair.

The Blue-haired One was good-hearted and good-natured. No matter what I did or said to him he always smiled to me, turned to me. Like I was his whole world and more. Unlike all those others. It was confusing. It was tempting.

And suddenly it was my desire. Kill him. Destroy him. Taint him. Devour him and his innocence.

But in the end I calmed myself down. It was not like the desire went away. The Blue-haired One just was not mine to take. And I resolved it all by deciding to wait what future would bring to me. Unlike others in our party thought I am very patient if it is beneficial for me. That time it was.

The time flowed forward. We fought against the idiot whom everybody insisted to call 'the Creator'. We won against him so he could not be that strong. After that came time us to dissolve the party. It had become the time to return to our separated homes. So it surprised us all when the Blue-haired One decided to stay with me.

So… My desire came back. Even stronger than it had been before. To devour. To kill. To kiss, bite and make him bleed.

We traveled together for a several weeks. Entire time I was aware that the Blond One connected via communicator every evening and tried to talk him leaving me and going back to Earth. Hell, anywhere as long as I was not there!

Then one evening my curiosity got the best of me. I had been – I can admit it now – quite an asshole the all day long but it never fazed him. The Blue-haired One had talked with the Blond One and it seemed to me as he returned to our campsite it had been tiring conversation. As I eyed him I decided that it had came time to make some inquiring. I asked him, what he wanted from me. He answered…

_Fayt's eyes were amused as he turned to look at Albel. "What do I want from you, you ask… I don't want anything from you…"_

… and then once again he smiled brightly to me…

"… _just break me down, Albel, kill my heart so I can go on without needing you like air…" Fayt had already averted his eyes from Albel's crimson ones. He seemed so lost that…_

… I was shocked. The Blue-haired One made his only wish. It was indeed a strange one, but I firmly decided that I would grand it to him no matter the price. After all… nobody had ever before needed me what ever that meant.

Need.

A word that started my problems and made them grow stronger so I could not ignore them any more. An emotion none had entrusted to me before…

The Blue-haired One said he needed me. Not loved, desired, wanted, but needed. In his emerald-eyes there were no emotion that would have bound me down yet I could not leave him after that. I knew nothing of this need he was talking about. But I promised to myself that I would break him just like those others before.

_Albel's eyes shone with dark thoughts. The red and orange flames made his bloody-red eyes glimmer and reflect the evilness in his mind and emptiness in his soul. "Do you really know what you're asking, Leingod?" he hissed and ran his clawed fingers over his stomach._

_Without hesitation Fayt gazed deep into Albel's eyes. "I know what you did to Cliff and Nel and many others when we were on Diplo", he informed the older steadily. "They both were quite messed up after you were finished with them." His eyes spoke of trust and faith. "That is what I want… to be broken by you."_

_Albel smirked wickedly. With a flash he was beside of Fayt and pinned him down. He lowered his weight on Fayt's smaller body. He brought his head down. "Are you sure that is want you truly want, Leingod?" he whispered in to Fayt's ear and felt the body under him shiver violently._

He submitted to me without fight.

_It was a first time Albel kissed somebody like this thou it was not his first kiss. No matter with whom he was in bed he never really wanted to kiss them. But with Fayt it felt like a necessity. Without the words the youngster seemed to demand Albel give him everything he had._

I have heard people talking that love is like whirlwind of emotions. It takes away every prudent thought in one's head and makes one act like a fool. At that time, when we kissed the very first time, I knew I was not in love with the Blue-haired One. Yet there was insanity and madness inside of me that demanded more, more, more of this… what ever it was. It demanded me to devour him, hurt him, caress him… and never let him go like he would be my personal possession.

And perhaps he was. After all… I am the only one who is allowed to kill him, take his life. So logically his body is also mine to take. That was my logic at that time. Now… I know nothing.

_Albel bit Fayt's neck just to hear him cry out in pain and to draw blood. He knew that he had blood-addiction and he wanted Fayt understand this too. He licked the little blood that oozed from the wound._

_Fayt shivered again under Albel and wound his arms around other man. He was determined. This was what he had asked, begged from the crimson-eyed swordsman and he would not back off. Fayt heard his shirt ripping and felt cool night breeze ghosting over his sensitive skin. He moaned as other's lips and tongue traveled over his naked skin. He shoved his hands into Albel's hair and arched closer the firm body over him._

_Albel smirked as their clothes were shed. Fayt was slender but strong. He could see that other was little embarrassed for being naked in front of him but it told Albel that Fayt had not slept many times with someone. It kind of surprised Albel. Fayt had beautiful face, his body was in good shape and he was nineteen years old._

_Albel pushed the distracting thoughts out of his head and descended over Fayt. He locked their lips into a deep, demanding kiss. His hands traveled downwards in search of Fayt's arousal…_

It was not just 'having sex'. I know. Through out my life I have had sex many times. With my Blue-haired One… it was something different. I loathe being forced to use term 'make love' because we did not love each other. Perhaps we 'joined'. He never told me what he thought about the whole experience although he was almost more eager than I was to repeat it all over.

Not that I complained.

In the end… I could not keep my promises… Not the one I gave him nor the one I gave myself…

Because in the end there was need inside of me too. My need for him. Anyone else could not do, could not replace him…

_There was blood everywhere. Lots of blood. Every bush and stem of grass was covered with thick, bright red substance. There were no monsters' bodies about. Only two bodies which belonged to a man with steal-clawed hand and a youngster with blue hair. The man's weapons – katana and claw – were covered with blood. The wounds that covered youngster's body matched with katana and claw._

… my desire took me…

_Albel rose to his feet suppressing the groan of pain and looked around himself searching for Fayt. Finally he saw the blue locks that indicated the place where his companion had fallen. As he tottered closer he mused how he might not should used Dragon Roar so many times successively._

_Fucking painful. That what this was. At least for Albel. He hoped that Fayt was beyond pain at this point. Stupid boy for not fighting back. Albel coughed blood. This was no good…_

… and I killed him. Not even a single moment I regretted what I did. I do not love him. I never did. I need him. As simple as that.

_Albel managed to walk to Fayt. He ignored his wounds which he knew would be fatal if not taken care of immediately. With difficulty he kneeled beside the blue-haired young man whose breath was difficult and ragged. Albel could tell that Fayt was even worse than he was. Gently he slipped his hand under Fayt and lifted his shattered body into his arms. _

_Although Albel's vision was badly blurred he could see the rib bones which were supposed to be covered by flesh and skin. Both of Fayt's legs and other arm were broken several times. His clothes were dyed by blood. Yet he seemed not be in pain. And for that Albel was grateful. His own pain had started to fade which was not very good thing at all._

"_You're indeed strange, Fayt", Albel whispered calling for first time the other by his given name. "Why didn't you use your abilities as Destroyer?" he questioned as his breath came out more and more labouredly. He felt the blood flowing down his side and legs. If it had been a small stream before now it was more like a river. Fayt was bound to notice soon…_

No matter how I tried to deny it, the Blue-haired One… he was much, much stronger than I am. After all his genes were modified so he could kill the Creator-dude. I do not envy him… All that power brought him so much agony and rejection.

_Fayt gave out a little laugh which ended into a blood-filled coughing. "I told you, don't you remember. I need you. I can't kill you even for a self-defense." He stopped for a moment to catch his breath. Then he fixed his dimming eyes on Albel's and raised his undamaged hand to caress Albel's cheek. "As well I could stop breathing." The attachment was clear in his voice._

I have never been one to cry. Never! But as he remembered me of his "need" I cried. I still cry when ever he tells me how much he needs me. I wonder where I chose wrong path to walk…

_Albel crouched over Fayt's shaking body. "Fayt… Don't go… I… need you…" He noticed with outsider's curiosity that he could hardly breathe any more._

Why did I say it? That is something I would like to know too. Am I regretting those words?

_The brilliant smile lightened Fayt's face and he sighed. There was nothing more he could ask. "I believe…" he finally said and Albel slumped closer to hear because he could hardly any more hear. "Our souls are tied together… I believe we'll be always together…"_

I wanted to laugh him. My Blue-haired One has sometimes strange thoughts. Together forever? Right, right…

I really hate him when he is right and I can not do anything for it.

_Albel drew shaking breath. He felt he was not having enough air. "If you say so… Fayt…" He slumped forward shoving Fayt back to the unyielding ground._

_Albel's sudden collapse gave start for Fayt and he entwined his arms around Albel's body. The cry of outmost lost filled the air as Fayt realized what had happened. Albel Nox, Albel the Wicked, died on the arms of the only person he could not break down and cast aside._

_Fayt could not stop crying. He sobbed and wailed until the welcomed darkness claimed him and he followed the most important person in his world to the death._

As for information, I can tell you that it sucks to be dead. But at least I can be dead with Fayt. And no that blond ape. So perhaps this is not so bad after all…

_It's whatever makes you see, makes you believe  
And forget about the premonition you need to conceive  
That the images they sell are illusion & dream  
In other words dishonesty_  
Poets of the Fall: Illusion & Dream

**End notes:** Highly confusing story, I know. Just… ignore it… For those who do not study Latin… Nemo nēmō is a Latin word for nobody.


End file.
